Showing Affection

"So this thing where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, it's usually a load of bull."

That was something I heard on Grey's Anatomy last night, or the night before, I don't remember

I thought it was a concept just I had in mind, or a few people around me

You know, when you just look the other way when someone catches you looking at something that concerns them with any sort of affection

Compared to people I know who do this, I really don't do it much, I like people to know I feel for/towards them.

Anyway, seeing someone on a TV show say it, made me realize how universal it is

Merideth felt sorry for her step sister for having a sick child, then was thrilled to see her back in her mother's arms, but pretended she didn't care about either events.

A couple of days ago, I overheard some girl I vaguely know saying there was this book she couldn't find anywhere. I thought of looking for it for her, not intensely, because she had probably looked for it everywhere popular. But at least ask about it, If anyone I know has it or something.

Then this thought kind of imposed itself in my head, that even if I find it. I wouldn't give it to her. Because then she'll think I care about her, and I don't want that.

Then I asked me (and kind of beat me up for it), why on earth wouldn't I want that?!

Why do people do that anyway?

I couldn't think of a proper reason

I wish they didn't.

I wish I didn't too.

I just took a decision to try not to ever consciously do this, at least until I think of a reason.