The fear of a groundhog day of 'deepest emotions'
words and details and attitudes
repetition
most peculiar story I know
most authentic connection I've felt to an outsider of my family
sounds disgusting to most, to myself sometimes for that matter
but for no reason other than realistic experience, I don't think I could be loved so unconditionally again
there are other men
more convenient, more attractive, better lovers perhaps
I envision myself, exactly the way I want to be, with the perfect man, even capable of socially being with him, the lust of the beginning is luring, but it's polyester intimacy, moments between silences and gestures that just tell me I don't belong there
I don't know if I became a stranger because I am a stranger by nature or because I am attracted to the drama of being one
point is, I am eventually a stranger, and so is my lover, and so is our story
and it is so beautiful, even the pain of it
the mere ability of two drastically different people to create a language of their own
even the eccentricity provokes one's senses
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