Sunday, August 15, 2010

'The pain goes, but the beauty remains'

The fear of a groundhog day of 'deepest emotions'

words and details and attitudes

repetition

most peculiar story I know

most authentic connection I've felt to an outsider of my family

sounds disgusting to most, to myself sometimes for that matter

but for no reason other than realistic experience, I don't think I could be loved so unconditionally again

there are other men

more convenient, more attractive, better lovers perhaps

I envision myself, exactly the way I want to be, with the perfect man, even capable of socially being with him, the lust of the beginning is luring, but it's polyester intimacy, moments between silences and gestures that just tell me I don't belong there

I don't know if I became a stranger because I am a stranger by nature or because I am attracted to the drama of being one

point is, I am eventually a stranger, and so is my lover, and so is our story

and it is so beautiful, even the pain of it

the mere ability of two drastically different people to create a language of their own

even the eccentricity provokes one's senses

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