I didn't want my second post to be so miserable.. since I'm usually not.. but it's been the mood lately.
I don't know what's missing, or I do, I'm just too stubborn to confess it to myself.
And I'm not letting God help, my ego is too possessive of me. I mentally know God cares more about me than the sins I've made, but I can't feel it. I can't just act like nothing happenned and pray before I sleep. I keep on picturing the same eyes that were watching me willingly and intentionally do it, I'm guessing he wasn't so happy with me then. Trying to tell myself he forgives me kind of implies he's too good to be true, or maybe a creature of imagination. damn doubts.
No introduction, no ending, just a rambling.
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